Monday, March 16, 2009

Role Rehearsal

"Take me back in the day when loving was pure
Love ain't going away, love is always secure
Life's not always perfect but love's always forever
Lets let true love connect lets try lasting together

I'm so ready to love, I'm so ready to promise my all
I'm so ready to give til' the day that my life is no more
I'll be everything that this woman can possibly be
Cause I'm ready to be like the olden days when commitment was golden"
(Lyrics by Chrisette Michel)

Oh, if this could only be me again...at least that's what I think the woman on the Good Morning America show would say. Yet, her actions and words said just the opposite. Today's segment entitled " When Women Bring Home the Bacon," (Role reversal creates emotional strain on Married couples)should have been called "When Women Bring Home the Bacon and Let their Men Fry." Why? Because it showed us exactly what happens to people who don't understand the meaning of the words "I Do." Now, now, now I don't profess to knowing everything about relationships nor am I the marriage expert, heck I'm not even married but what I do know, is that it takes uno, dos, tres to make anything work and that third wheel emphasis should be on God.

As I watched the interview, I found myself feeling totally disgusted. Not because their roles were reversed, but because of the lack of appreciation from both sides. Both had been, I'm assuming relatively comfortable financially at one time because they both had sales careers. Yet, when this woman's husband was laid off, all of the love, hugs and kisses flew right out of the window. Now, mommy was the certified financial power house of the home (working 14 hour days) and unable to effectively perform her wifely and motherly duties. Dad, on the other hand had become "mister mom" and something many women in this century, would have no problems with, certainly not me!

But when you stack them all together, what do you get? A big, fat glob of under-appreciated, non-loving, angry, bitter individuals who have sunken to roommate status. What happened to all of the love? She would no longer respect him because he no longer exemplified her idea of "head of household." You know, the one who worked 18hour days to provide for his family. And yes, I agree with her 100%, but we, are no longer living, in a time where we have the luxury to make this choice. Right now it's about survival...in our relationships...on our jobs and yes, in our homes. We have to learn how to weather the storms for better and for worse not just when we feel like it. He, on the other hand, wants to be appreciated more, to feel like she understands what he's giving up. He's no longer able to do the day to day visits with clients to bring home all the bacon fat he used to. But he, has to learn how to get over it and do everything he can as a man to provide love and support in other ways. What both of them are facing is a real life example of how the dew seasons of our lives can show us who and what we really are. My prayer is that their temporary role reversal is just a role rehearsal for the greater blessings and joy that will surely come.

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