I'm Not Scared of Lions, and Tigers and Bears"

"I'm not scare of lions and tigers and bears, no I’m not, but I'm scared of.....loving you.” Okay, was Jazmine Sullivan serious when she wrote that song? Has she even seen the size of the bugs that run through the streets of Atlanta? If she had, then I'm almost certain that her lyrics might be a little different. Ever since I was a kid I've been tormented by every, single insect on the planet. My oldest sister and I joke about this all the time. As a child I remember being stung by a queen bee while playing kick ball with a few kids on my block. My middle sister Jocelyn had tried desperately to warn me beforehand and literally screamed at me to not touch my hair. Unfortunately, for me, it was too late. Hence began my rollercoaster ride through wild kingdom and my growing fear of bugs. When I moved to Atlanta I was so excited I couldn't wait to experience my new life. The warm temperatures and the rumors of it being a much slower pace is what lured me. But, my picture perfect dream faded just as fast as the flight I took to get here when I saw, what I thought, was a butterfly flying above my head. Only it wasn't daytime and my butterfly had more than wings, it crunched! And once I heard that, I knew that I was in for some big trouble. So I had to act fast with my interrogation process. After much research and interviews with my southern friends it was determined that I had seen a "palmetto". Oh, pardon me "a flying cockroach,” they said. What the heck?! When did cockroaches learn how to fly? I thought I had left Jersey behind, this can't be happening! I vowed that I would have a fresh, clean start and this was not going to include: crack heads, gang initiations or anymore wire hangers! I mean roaches! Now, I'm all for loving all of God's creatures but roaches aren't one of them; especially those that are the size of my size 8 shoe. When my best friend from college who lives out of state and I met up for dinner one night, I relished the opportunity of showing her all of the neat things to do and places to see in Atlanta. But, before we knew it, we were being followed by a team of groupies that were ducking and dodging us everywhere we went. This was becoming a problem and would continue being a problem every time the weather changed. It seems that my “palmetto” was a tropical insect who not only loved the outdoors but also warm climates just like me. Therefore, having weighed all of my options I had to do what any other person would do when his or her rights were violated. Stay in doors at night time, hire an exterminator, or relocate my little self right back to Jersey. Perhaps in dew season, I’ll muster up the courage, and make a better choice.