Tuesday, December 1, 2009

"I Desire"

Tonight I meditated on a song that brought me to tears. The lyrics were from a woman who desired to have more of God’s spirit in her life. She is broken hearted and thirsty for something more than what exists around her, something clear, not dirty or cloudy like the water she’s use to drinking to quench her thirst. She seeks clarity but knows that the only way that she can receive it, is to submit herself completely or at least long enough to experience something good.

Her desires, are not that far from my own. I want the every day confusion and uncertainty of my life to disappear like quick sand. Like my daily stress of wondering when and if a pink slip will arrive on “my” desk. Or if the car I’ve been driving since 1995 will make it into the new year or which bill I will or will not pay this month in order to put a smile on a loved ones face this Christmas. But then, I hear the word “submit” ring softly in my ear and I yield myself to the voice of my higher power.

Make no mistake about it though, I’m human, and not without fault. Therefore, the yielding and speaking part of me may not always match up with the ‘dewing’ part of me. In other words, I often choose to do my own thing by succumbing to worry, doubt and fear. Believe it or not, I haven’t always accepted the fact that my needs and desires will be taken care of as long as I am patient and believe.

My mind might not be able to grasp this concept, but my heart will. And this, is where, the best part of that songs rings true that when I fall on my knees, and attend my prayer with God he will take me beyond the veil..and give me more of him….and she asks, if it’s not to much to ask, I want a deeper relationship with you, I want the oil of God to flow in me through and through..here I am..on bending knee with out stretched arms crying Lord, not my will but your will..less of me and more of you. What an awesome experience, and what a joy it is to know that everything that we go through whatever it is, regardless of the severity or level of importance in our own eyes we dew it in partnership with the creator and there’s simply, nothing, better than that.