I'm Not Scared of Lions, and Tigers and Bears"

"I'm not scare of lions and tigers and bears, no I’m not, but I'm scared of.....loving you.” Okay, was Jazmine Sullivan serious when she wrote that song? Has she even seen the size of the bugs that run through the streets of Atlanta? If she had, then I'm almost certain that her lyrics might be a little different. Ever since I was a kid I've been tormented by every, single insect on the planet. My oldest sister and I joke about this all the time. As a child I remember being stung by a queen bee while playing kick ball with a few kids on my block. My middle sister Jocelyn had tried desperately to warn me beforehand and literally screamed at me to not touch my hair. Unfortunately, for me, it was too late. Hence began my rollercoaster ride through wild kingdom and my growing fear of bugs. When I moved to Atlanta I was so excited I couldn't wait to experience my new life. The warm temperatures and the rumors of it being a much slower pace is what lured me. But, my picture perfect dream faded just as fast as the flight I took to get here when I saw, what I thought, was a butterfly flying above my head. Only it wasn't daytime and my butterfly had more than wings, it crunched! And once I heard that, I knew that I was in for some big trouble. So I had to act fast with my interrogation process. After much research and interviews with my southern friends it was determined that I had seen a "palmetto". Oh, pardon me "a flying cockroach,” they said. What the heck?! When did cockroaches learn how to fly? I thought I had left Jersey behind, this can't be happening! I vowed that I would have a fresh, clean start and this was not going to include: crack heads, gang initiations or anymore wire hangers! I mean roaches! Now, I'm all for loving all of God's creatures but roaches aren't one of them; especially those that are the size of my size 8 shoe. When my best friend from college who lives out of state and I met up for dinner one night, I relished the opportunity of showing her all of the neat things to do and places to see in Atlanta. But, before we knew it, we were being followed by a team of groupies that were ducking and dodging us everywhere we went. This was becoming a problem and would continue being a problem every time the weather changed. It seems that my “palmetto” was a tropical insect who not only loved the outdoors but also warm climates just like me. Therefore, having weighed all of my options I had to do what any other person would do when his or her rights were violated. Stay in doors at night time, hire an exterminator, or relocate my little self right back to Jersey. Perhaps in dew season, I’ll muster up the courage, and make a better choice.

Role Rehearsal

"Take me back in the day when loving was pure
Love ain't going away, love is always secure
Life's not always perfect but love's always forever
Lets let true love connect lets try lasting together

I'm so ready to love, I'm so ready to promise my all
I'm so ready to give til' the day that my life is no more
I'll be everything that this woman can possibly be
Cause I'm ready to be like the olden days when commitment was golden"
(Lyrics by Chrisette Michel)

Oh, if this could only be me again...at least that's what I think the woman on the Good Morning America show would say. Yet, her actions and words said just the opposite. Today's segment entitled " When Women Bring Home the Bacon," (Role reversal creates emotional strain on Married couples)should have been called "When Women Bring Home the Bacon and Let their Men Fry." Why? Because it showed us exactly what happens to people who don't understand the meaning of the words "I Do." Now, now, now I don't profess to knowing everything about relationships nor am I the marriage expert, heck I'm not even married but what I do know, is that it takes uno, dos, tres to make anything work and that third wheel emphasis should be on God.

As I watched the interview, I found myself feeling totally disgusted. Not because their roles were reversed, but because of the lack of appreciation from both sides. Both had been, I'm assuming relatively comfortable financially at one time because they both had sales careers. Yet, when this woman's husband was laid off, all of the love, hugs and kisses flew right out of the window. Now, mommy was the certified financial power house of the home (working 14 hour days) and unable to effectively perform her wifely and motherly duties. Dad, on the other hand had become "mister mom" and something many women in this century, would have no problems with, certainly not me!

But when you stack them all together, what do you get? A big, fat glob of under-appreciated, non-loving, angry, bitter individuals who have sunken to roommate status. What happened to all of the love? She would no longer respect him because he no longer exemplified her idea of "head of household." You know, the one who worked 18hour days to provide for his family. And yes, I agree with her 100%, but we, are no longer living, in a time where we have the luxury to make this choice. Right now it's about survival...in our relationships...on our jobs and yes, in our homes. We have to learn how to weather the storms for better and for worse not just when we feel like it. He, on the other hand, wants to be appreciated more, to feel like she understands what he's giving up. He's no longer able to do the day to day visits with clients to bring home all the bacon fat he used to. But he, has to learn how to get over it and do everything he can as a man to provide love and support in other ways. What both of them are facing is a real life example of how the dew seasons of our lives can show us who and what we really are. My prayer is that their temporary role reversal is just a role rehearsal for the greater blessings and joy that will surely come.

With Age Comes....

For years I’ve prided myself with having clear skin. While I may have had an occasional run in with acne every now and then none of that compared to what I have right now. It's the type of acne that will make you cancel a dinner date, wear a turtle neck or keep you awake at night just thinking of ways to get rid of it."Adult acne” has got to be numero uno on my list of pet peeves just under the dreaded grey hair that most women over 35 have to deal with. And if I had a magic wand I'd wish them both away. Oh well, I guess with age comes beauty..yeah right…if that was the case then why do I have all these marks on my face?! I never abused chocolate candy or sweets (whatever)and I’ve always been good about washing my face at night. So where on earth are these demons coming from?! My once clear, caramel complexion is now being bullied every, single month by the likes of a little man who dances on my face like it’s New Years Eve. And right now, he needs to know, that this party is over! The only problem is, I’ve tried everything, and nothing seems to help. Every article I’ve read states that if I keep myself away from stress my skin would greatly improve. Right…I got it; I guess when I see stress walking down the street I need to move right out of his way. R-i-g-h-t....Or maybe I should take a yoga class to calm myself down. Now, who has time for that?! Or better yet, maybe I should stay away from all the people and things that might be causing my stress. Like the hosts of family, friends and coworkers who talk about my acne like I’m terminally ill or act like I’m not even in the room. “Poor, poor thing, what happened to your face? “Wow, is that a mole, or a pimple? “Did you get into a fight, oh don’t worry it’s going to be okay.” “You’re such a pretty girl but you really need to take better care of your skin,” they say. “Have you seen a dermatologist?” For the life of me I can’t understand why anyone would think that people with acne have no idea that there’s a pimple on their face. Heck, we see it every time we look in the mirror so there’s no need to remind us. We also don’t need friends and family holding on to our faces like we’re new born babies. For goodness sake, this is probably how all this stuff got started in the first place! Have you tried Clearasil? Yes. How about Pro-Active? Yes. Retin-A? Yes. Tea Tree Oil? Yes. Alcohol? Yes. Witch Hazel? Yes. Have you tried running around in an ice storm with your face to the sky? Well, um, I think so, yes! Yes, yes, yes, oh yes! Folks, I’ve tried everything but holy water and prayer. Grudgingly, I’ve given up on fighting it and decided that life will always bring good and bad seasons. Therefore, I'm letting my skin dew its own thing.