A New Lease

A new lease on life…a new lease on life…sometimes that’s the only thing we can ask for when hard times come and nothing ever seems to go our way. Not the job, or marriage/relationship, not our finances or the things we need to rid ourselves of most. Like the “dirty” little habits that keep popping up in our lives. It doesn’t matter what they are…that drink, that drug…that addiction to love. Whatever it is, we’ve got to remember that when we fall “it’s never too late to get off the ground and do the things we want to do in life.” This simple truth comes, from a person, who knows this more than most.

When I read an article, about a 43 year old man playing football for Clark Atlanta University as a tight end, I laughed and thought to myself, what would an old, has been, need to prove at his age? He’s certainly no Michael Jordan, George Foreman or any other well known athlete. But a man, with heart and desire to show that he wasn’t giving up on life. Jeff Chaskin was finally learning to turn it around after having struggled from alcohol and drug addiction for more than 25 years. Not only was he doing it for himself but his family, the wife and 8 children that he loved so much. And he wasn’t going to let the fact that he had been arrested just 1 year prior for cocaine possession stop him from doing just that. In his glory days he was a successful businessman with a thriving lawn care business but nothing could shield him from the influences of “the fast life.” One might say that Chaskin was suffering from more than a deep addiction, he was suffering from a case of more money, more problems. But as fate would have it, 8 months of prison, reading the bible and 500 hundred push ups later he was on his way to reclaiming everything that was stolen from him. Like the promising football career he lost when he was in college several years ago and the marriage that failed from his rampant drug use. Yet, even with the braces on his arthritic knees that are drained every 3 weeks and the fact that he’s the only white male player at a historically black college, simply wearing #43 on his back makes up for all of it. To see the smiles or hear the praises from his team mates and family is probably recognition enough even if it is only for a season. But what matters most is the example of the “dew season” in the life of man who could have given up but chose to run another way.

"I Wanna Kidnap You"....featuring Mi Mi, Nakita Cook Young & Hillary Roy

If you've never been kidnapped before..today "We Wanna Kidnap You"....

“I Wanna Kidnap You”….
By “Mi Mi”

I wanna kidnap you…..

And go back to summer days
When days were hot
Nights were even hotter

I wanna kidnap you….

Never setting you free
And hold you till you see
That everything is better
When it’s you and me

The nights that I lay beside you
Holding on to thoughts of your essence
Drawing you closer with every breath that I take
No longer awake because I only have you when I dream
So what does this mean?

I wanna kidnap you…

You're in my head, never really there,
Never really where I'd always hoped you'd be
Can never see you in a way I'd hoped I'd see

I wanna kidnap you…..

All I wanna do is be, with you
Whenever, wherever, however that means.
Hoping that in this world when I dream
You will invade my reality

I wanna kidnap you….

This seems to be the only place where I am at peace…
Nights that I lay beside you
In this bed that we share
In this bed of air, in this bed of nothing there
Nothing there but just air

I wanna kidnap you….



“I Wanna Kidnap You”……..
By Nakita Cook Young

I committed a crime of the heart….I shanghaied and took my lover by force
I could wait no longer as my emotions would no longer stand still
I was inflicted and overcome mentally and physically
with interludes of romantic voyages and adventures of desire
The sensation came with such amazing speed and suddenness and
before I knew it I was taking my love against his will!

I acted exactly as my heart dictated…and I used my womanhood as my choice of
weapon; I stalked and prowled every inch of his body with my unlawful intentions;
I locked him up in my love and held him captive, with my unbridled kisses and
touches and my Karma Sutra body positions!

I’m not in command of my desire, passion and sexual prowess
I can no longer help myself I’ve got to get close to my divine so
I drugged, coerced and abducted him with my sexual appeal
I kept him restrained by sedating him with hot shots of my sweetness!

Boy you got me so gone over you my mind is slippin
with just the mere thought of you my love starts to flow and I start trippin
but, I don’t give fugg ….The jonz in my bonz got me thinking crazy
and I’m down to do whatever it takes to get next to you baby!
even if that’s locking you up and “throwing away the key” and keeping you prisoner!

I’m Never, Never gonna give you up even if the cops come knockin
There ain’t a damn thing that I won’t do to keep you as a hostage
I got you right where I want you gagged and bound in my allurement
Nothing else even matters to me but, my ransom and demands…
Touch all places that make me hot, love me from the bottom to the top,
and make me scream and holla!

This wild and excited unlawful escapade escalated and intensified
I got caught up in the rapture and swept away in the sexual euphoria
I was possessed by my sexual insanity and got hung up with passion
And that’s when it happened my kidnapping plans were foiled and I became his capture.

Thoughts of passion and sweet sensations drove me to do it
He takes my body over the edge with a feeling of awe!
It was a crime of the heart, an act of love is… necessarily punishable by law
I can't help from thinking this is how it’s suppose to be I belong to you…and
baby you belong to me!



“I Wanna Kidnap You”…….
By Hillary Roy

This..

is…

a stick up..

And I wanna kidnap you..

I wanna pick pocket every emotion running through you

Hold u, console u

Put u up for ransom

Then.. kidnap u….

Again, and again and again

No need to try and hide from me

I love u this is my decree

And earth is only but so wide

Can’t show the love I feel inside

This is a stick up

and

I
wanna

kidnap

you

I’ll trace the footprints of your steps in sand

And when I do, “you’ll” do, as “I” command….

8 hours, 20 minutes, 6 seconds will be

Almost as long as eternity

I’m just securing what’s mine you see

My prize possession he’ll always be

I’ll cook, I’ll clean, I’ll keep it real…

Give him a love that’s etched in steel

And passion that is oh so thick,

oh trust me “he’d” be turning tricks

So yes I’m guilty of this crime

I’ll thankfully do whatever time

Cuz I’m just securing what’s mine you see

And making sure we’ll always be

“we”…..

Who Cares About Gail King...My Name Is.......

Last Saturday I went to one of the most powerful empowerment sessions I’ve attended in a long time. But, I gotta admit, I was a little intimidated. When I first walked through the doors of the CAU recreation center (that’s short for Clark Atlanta University) I could feel the tension in the air as more than 100 women from all over the Atlanta sat in upward poses as if they were being auditioned for a top model shoot. There were Prada bags, weaves and Mac cosmetic adorned faces that were so flawless I knew I couldn't’t compete. And why would I want to since this isn’t what that day represented. At least not for me and probably not for any of the other women who attended the first annual I AM WEEN (Women in Entertainment Empowerment Network) Tour held in Atlanta. It wasn’t about “appearances” or profiling, it wasn’t about name dropping either, it was simply a day, for students and women of all backgrounds to come together and gain insight from some of the hottest trailblazers in the entertainment industry.

From the moment I heard Lauren Lake speak I knew the day was going to be special. Not only is she an attorney but also a motivational speaker, a television personality, author of the book “Girl! Let Me Tell You,” and former host of the HGTV show “Spice Up My Kitchen.” She along with 6 others panelists including: Nina Brown ( V-103’s morning show producer), Phaedra Parks (Entertainment Attorney, The Parks Group/Executive Consulting Producer of BET's “Tiny & Toya” show), Terrence J. (BET's 106 & Park co-host), Shanti Das(Executive Vice President of Universal Motown), Chaka Zulu (Disturbing the Peace Records, Ludacris’ label), Stacey Lee ( Former Miss Michigan ), Kaira Akita Whitehead (Actor, Tyler Perry Films) graced us with an afternoon of pure, unadulterated honesty and wisdom. At times I often felt like I was sitting in my living room talking to a few of my best friends because the conversations flowed that easily. I listened carefully as Nina Brown detailed the steps she took to become the producer of one of Atlanta's hottest morning radio shows. And even at 23yrs of age she wasn’t going to let that number or some veteran radio talent stop her from pursuing that dream. So with a little determination, tenacity and a strong willingness to learn she made it happen. Next up was Phaedra Parks, an well known entertainment attorney who credited her entrance into the business after having a conversation with a well known radio personality and mentor. But when Terrence J.from BET payed homage to his mother for being the catalyst and driving force for his career I couldn't help but feel his pride. He spoke of a young woman who became pregnant at 17 years of age who never had the chance to pursue her own dreams therefore, she became the fuel that ignited his hope of entering the entertainment industry. And with that, came the promise, to return every, single hope and dream his mom had loss. But the moment that stood out for me the most was when a woman in the audience asked how she could rekindle a tie she had established with Oprah's best friend, Gail King. It was a chance meeting she had with her many, many years ago that still had her feeling as if she had missed her shot at fame and fortune. After all was said, a very direct Ms. Lake looked her straight in the eye and replied…”Stop waiting for Gail King or anyone else to give you what you already have, create what “you” want for yourself.”

As I meditated on her words I remembered all my mentors, friends, and the people in my life that I had waited on to "take me" where I wanted to go. I wanted the gain without the pain and that's just not how the universe works. Simply talking about the place that I wanted to be wasn’t going to be enough. I had to have a vision and position myself for God’s blessings to flow through me and around me. I had to learn that I could no longer be a “pity party mess” and just dew what I needed to dew for myself. Then and only then did the visions of my life, not anyone elses become clear. One seed at a time I planted and used the gifts and talents God gave me and with his grace and hard work I'll continue to dew my thing.

Momma Knows Best......

For all the talk of “momma knows best” this time, I can say, I certainly agree, as celebrity recording artist Khandi Burris and character on “the Real Housewives of Atlanta,” is slowly, but surely, finding out. Not for the obvious of course, i.e. the fact that her soon-to-be husband (so we think) has 6 kids by more than one woman, or because her fiancé won’t “man up” long enough to have a conversation with his future mother-in-law just to set the record straight but because it’s just plain stupid that a woman with everything going for her would make such a hasty decision to say yes to marrying someone she hasn’t even known that long. Notice I didn’t say stupid, because many of us have taken that trip in more ways than one, fortunately we were able to get off that cruise ship and make our way back home. Earth to Khandi..it’s time to come home now sweetie….Royal Caribbean has ended that tour. Nevertheless, I find myself feeling more and more sorry for her as I watch episode after episode, as she pleads for her mother to accept the fact that she’s happy with this man. And I can’t help but wonder why she can’t for one minute see the other side. Happiness is fleeting but peace is everlasting and right now it looks like they’ll be no peace in the foreseeable future. I’m not being a pessimistic I’m just calling it as I seem em. Although, I’m not a mom or married or dated enough men with children to make a completely solid case on this, I do know one thing for sure and that, is that, if I had a child he/she would have to be completely, 100%, on board with our union. I also know that my family: Mom, Dad, Aunt Betty, Uncle Lawrence, Aunt Smoothie, Uncle Lester, Aunt Boobee, Cousin Frankie, Sister Susie and the rest of my crew would have to be on board too if family meant that much to me. Does that mean that every bit of that person has to be loved by family, probably not, but there would have to be a mutual respect going on in order for me to walk down that aisle or else….we ain’t getting married! I also look at the future implications, that should they just happen to divorce (God forbid) how it would affect all of his kids, not just her daughter, but re-routing an entire family from one location to another to be with yet another woman or how seeing daddy fathering children with several different women looks (another topic that I know will cause a stir) or the fact that this young woman could very well pay child support or/alimony to this man (get a prenup please) or what this whole situation might do to her own family unit is what I question most. Again, I’m not a pessimist, just a realist and a woman who knows that no amount of great “wa wa,” money, or loneliness wouldn’t make me think twice before I, say, “I dew.”

The Truth Is......

For the past few days I’ve sat silently, as I watched replays on CNN of a dog and pony show taking place during the town hall meetings over one of the most serious issues our country has had to face in a very long time. And right now, I can no longer hold my tongue. And since this blog is about life, lessons and truth, I will try my best, to share my truth, without offending anyone. I cannot speak for the masses, I cannot speak for your truth but what I can do, is share my reason, for wanting health care reform. Perhaps if we listened to the bitter words of a woman’s family who had to bury her because she died from cancer simply because she was unable to pay for medication or have radical surgery to reverse her circumstance. Perhaps if we listened to the cries of young child suffering from a bone marrow disease but unable to receive a blood transplant because his parents couldn’t afford to pay for hospitalization. Or, perhaps if we saw the tears of a woman who no longer had a job because the small business she worked for, for over 10 years, could no longer afford to pay her and now she struggles to pay healthcare on her own even though she had always managed to stay healthy by grace along with her 3 kids. No longer can I stay silent when just a few years ago, I had to face, a similar dilemma. I was unemployed but was fortunate enough to have received a contract sales position that lasted all of 3 months. I was grateful for the opportunity but knew in my heart that I had just enough to eat, pay for rent and fill up my gas tank. There was absolutely, positively, no way that I would be able to afford healthcare. Before this time, I was like any other hard-working individual. I had a job that paid well and a healthcare plan that paid for everything. Yet, when I found myself being wheeled away on a stretcher after being told I had to have emergency surgery my glory days of healthcare security became just a memory. Not having insurance meant that I would be responsible for paying for everything and everyone. The doctor, the nurse, the transporter, the radiologist, the bed, the wraps, the meals, the swabs, the person who wiped my backside and I could go on and on. Fortunately, there was a plan in place for the “uninsured” and that plan was called “Charity Care.” Had it not been for this, I probably would have asked them to keep me on that stretcher because I truly had no way to pay for the $50,000+ surgery they stuck me with. Am I saying that people shouldn’t be responsible for paying their bills if service is performed, absolutely not, but if it wasn’t for programs like these, for special circumstances like this one, what would people do? They would do, exactly what so many others are doing; lose their homes, file for bankruptcy, take out second mortgages, borrow, plead, beg and steal or, simply, doing nothing at all. Ultimately, they are caving into the pressure and stress of not being able to take care of their health. I cannot speak, and will not speak on whether this issue is about “the haves or the have nots” or someone who is Black, White, Asian or Latino. But what I know for sure, is that it’s about people, simply expressing, a lack of compassion for anyone other than themselves. And a lack of wanting meaningful dialogue to discuss both sides of the coin which really is what matters most. Not what you’re gonna lose, or how much political leverage you’ll gain but what you and your family, and your family’s family, and your children’s family can treasure most. The most important resource we have, which stands above the dollar and above any color line…is what we call LIFE. Perhaps in dew season, or this season, some folks will get that part right.

Beating the D

The other day I stood quietly by my locker as I watched a coworker speed pass me like his life depended on it. I managed to catch his eye briefly, and in that moment I saw him carefully wrap his hands around a bottle that he held ever so tight. He was visibly agitated and when I asked if he was okay he responded softly then replied “I will be, just as soon, as I take, my meds.” I tried not to see what “meds” he was talking about because this was no business of anyone else but him. But before I could turn away he stuck the bottle in my hands and all my eyes could focus on were the words D-E-P-R-E-S-S-I-O-N. It was as if they were superimposed not just me, but anyone else who was listening. And then I froze. I was unable to think of what to say next. It was awkward and I had no real way to recover? So instead of responding with some sort of generic response my mind starting flashing back to previous conversations I’d had with him. He was 26-years-old, black, good-looking and the father of a beautiful baby girl. I know none of this really matters but what it showed me was that depression had no labels and its ill effect can strike any of us. He and I flirted with each other months before this, until I reminded him that I was "old enough to be his momma” speech, every time he asked me out. I was flattered, but what I felt, that day, was an overwhelming sense of “what if?” What if I had chosen to go out with this young man. Or what if I had entered a relationship with him. What would it have meant for us? Would I be able to handle the momentary episodes that often come with this crippling disease? Would I continue to be the strong woman that I so often profess to be and love my friend through what could be many rocky roads ahead? Or, would I simply walk away without trying to understand? I also thought of my own family, the cousin with bipolar, another who is no longer with us but was drawn to a state of confinement unable to leave her home for fear of what might be outside her door or the grandmother I never met. The one I’d always heard stories of, the plain woman, the talented yet meek woman who died in a sanitarium or crazy home for those who knew differently back then. And when my journey was over, I thought of all the other friends, family, coworkers and strangers I’d had conversations with who proved themselves brave enough every time they woke up or walked out their own front door. Beating the D….beating the stereotype that depression can sometimes hold against them, the stigma of the D that many fight to break free from everyday. And in that moment I smiled to myself, not because I was grateful to God for allowing me to be spared from this but by allowing me to be in the path of that young man to simply say “It’s okay.” “Pray.” “It’s going to be okay.” Whether we know it or not, perhaps dewing, or saying something, just might be enough.

Does My Thinking Need An Adjustment?

Loving, caring, hard-working, successful, dedicated mother, multi-talented professional and independent woman. These are the words that describe my long time sister friend, Lisa Barclay. Since she was the winner of my blog challenge last month it only seems right to share her post. And if you'd like to read more stories from Lisa pick up a copy of my latest book "Journeys of Love Voices of the Heart" available now at: www.HillabeesandRoses.com. Enjoy her post!

Does My Thinking Need An Adjustment?

I try to start most of my work days with a devotional reading. You know, try to get my mind right as I prepare to do the corporate shuffle and deal with daily life. Today’s message resonated with me in a really big way because I’ve been going through some things in my personal life and as a result, I’ve had a lot on my mind. The message told a story of a woman who planned how her whole life would be in her head and when it didn’t turn out that way she was angry and frustrated. In her mind her husband was not the knight in shining armor as he practiced his daily ritual of coming home from work, offering no help around the house, criticizing her weight and the things she didn’t do; all the while assuming his couch potato, channel surfing position. Her house wasn’t the Elle Décor picture of perfection that she had hoped for. Things never seemed to stay in their place. The floor always needed mopping and the sink had a never ending pile of dishes. Her kids were not the perfect little angels she dreamed of because they never listened and caused daily chaos in the house. Over time, this woman’s daily mantra became, “Why bother? No one else does?” She let life’s disappointments block her view of the blessings in her own life. Sadly, she couldn’t see beyond “what wasn’t” in her life.
I have to admit I started seeing myself in that very same light and have often been guilty of adopting that same attitude. The message asked if we realized when our thinking needed an adjustment. Do we check ourselves to see if our thoughts have any true merit or have we allowed negative energy to influence our minds and our hearts? As an imperfect person, these questions give me great pause because I know that my thinking is not where it should be. I am grateful for the daily blessings in my life - my home, my son, food, clothing, a job, my health and so many other things. I often think about and pray for the people who are not as blessed and fortunate as I. Yet,in spite of my gratitude I have to stop and ask myself if I need to change my own thinking. As a self proclaimed, strong Black woman, I know I do. And just like the message that was based off of the scripture (Philippians 4:8-9), that change, would create more peace. In dew season and with God’s help, as I think differently and act differently the blessings of peace will rain down on my life. And that, is a much better, option to me.