Friday, June 5, 2009

Oh, The Things I Will, Won't Do For Love....

I gotta admit. I’ve never been much of an organized person. Never been the type who hangs her clothes when I come home from work nor do I fold them after pulling them from the dryer. I don’t walk around with a list of daily do’s and don’ts. And rarely do I care what’s on my dinner plate. Just so long, as it’s good. That’s just not who I am, never has been, never will be, unless, it comes to choosing a mate.

For the past 20 years I’ve hopelessly struggled to stay true to my needs/wants as it relates to having a successful relationship. But, I often wondered, what’s the point? Men and women are always going to have differences therefore ya gotta roll the dice and take the good with the bad. Yet, even though I’ve held true to this mantra I still find myself changing my requirements almost as much as I change my taste in clothes.

I’ve watched them dwindle from a thesis, to a one page synopsis, all the way down to the length of a gas receipt. And while much of what I desired in my twenties still holds true in my forties, some of those qualities have slowly began to fade. Therefore, all that I have left is a list of “Things, I will, won’t do, for love.”

And so we begin…..

The Will’s

1.I will date a man with all of his teeth (minus the gold plates)
2.I will date a man whose stomach is bigger than mine (as long as it’s chiseled)
3.I will date a man with a less than perfect car (as long as it’s not his momma’s)
4.I will date a man who knows that chivalry is not dead ( I still enjoy having doors open for me even if it is only the bathroom)
5.I will date a man with a bald head ( as long as there’s no bumps on the back of his neck)

The Won’ts

1.I won’t date a man who’s cheap (in other words…frugal).
2.I won’t date a man who smokes (something about the smell annoys me)
3.I won’t date a man with more chest hair than me (bad experience, he had breasts)
4.I won’t date a man with kids (unless they’re from the same mother)
5.And finally, I won’t date for the sake of dating; I’m looking for my husband.

Generally speaking, this list idea has worked for me right up until my fairy love mother comes in to punish me for my sudden memory lapse. In other words, I tend to flip flop often, only to be stuck dating men I have no business with. And yet, I still long for that special someone the kind with the sense of humor, and pick-up lines don’t count. Or the kind who offers meaningful conversation that doesn’t include what he just ate for lunch. For those of us who still believe in the power of “the almighty list”, fairy god mother’s, fables, and knights in shining armor, all we really mean, and what we really need is…love. Or, at least that’s what I think I need. Oh well, perhaps I need another list to figure out the things I will…won’t do…for love, once and for all. In dew season, I’ll probably get it right.


Sarudzai Mubvakure said...

Yes that is right - in due season you will meet that man who can define who you are. You will meet that man who will wake up early in the morning just to thank God that he found you. Yes, in due season that man will come to erase all the years of waiting for love. And he will make you his wife - in due season.

Looking forward to reading and reviewing your book!

Hillary said...

thank u so much Saru...this I know for sure:)until then I'm all smiles...